Frank Borelli
Editor In Chief
New American Truth
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I just finished reading an excellent and highly informative article that will be released on Officer.com. The author contributes articles having to do with managing psychological and physiological related crisis. What struck me about the article, and inspired me to type this blog about it, is that the topic seems to be one that is making some people money but, in the long run, addressing the root issue. The article was titled What’s Wrong With Kids Today?
The article discusses something called Oppositional Defiant Disorder to start and then something else called Conduct Disorder. Let me give you a brief overview of each of them before I comment further.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
Children with ODD may talk back, disobey or defy parents or other authorities. The author lists a few signs and symptoms of ODD. They include:
- frequent temper tantrums
- excessive arguing with adults
- Often questioning rules
- blaming others for his or her own mistakes or misbehavior
- frequent anger and resentment
- hateful talking when upset
- spiteful attitude and revenge seeking
Now I knew plenty of kids who modeled these signs / symptoms when I was growing up. They were (predominantly) the kids who didn’t have active parents. I know that I tried my share of this kind of behavior and was promptly corrected. Often that correction involved me ending up with a sore butt in my younger years, and grounded or otherwise punished when I was a teenager. In other words, I always viewed “Oppositional Defiance Disorder” as misbehaving. Active parents correct such behavior. Neglectful parents end up with kids who misbehave.
Conduct Disorder (CD)
The basic features of a CD are a persistent pattern of behaviors which violate the social rules and rights of others. Once again… I always thought that was misbehaving. Depending on the level of bad behavior it may simply be something correctable by parents. If it reaches a significant enough level then it’s something that requires correction by the police. Behaviors that may be demonstrated by a child with CD are listed as:
- Aggression to people and animals
- Destruction of Property
- Deceitfulness, lying or stealing
- Serious violations of rules
Let me be clear about this: if a child behaves like this it’s because his or her parents have failed to discipline them and teach them right from wrong FROM BIRTH.
Parenting is an activity that requires energy, motivated and dedication from before the child is born. It is something that is done every day until the child has grown into an autonymous adult. I believe we spend about the first five years teaching the child right from wrong. That is the critical time frame wherein parents must display their love, care and concern for the child. It is also the time frame wherein the parent must demonstrate that certain behaviors are completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated at all. After that we’re really just helping our children learn judgment.
So, while our society – in the personage of doctors who come up with new names for “disorders” that all basically break down to “a misbehaving improperly raised child” – comes up with more and more excuses for children, adolescents and young adults, it behooves the rest of us to hold those very same children, adolescents and young adults accountable for their actions. When some 19 year old walks up and attempts to rob me or mine I really don’t care if he has a Conduct Disorder. I care what kind of weapon he has and how I’m going to defeat him in such a fashion that he never again even remotely considers attempting to rob someone.
What do you think?
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Excellent. Why are these attitudes given titles like they are “new” problem. They think if they give it a two or three letter designation for the problem, then there will be a magic pharmaceutical drug to make it all better. Better parenting through chemistry.
I was a victim of both of these disorders and several others that have not yet been named when I was young. There were no medications available but I had several good therapists who alleviated the problems. I shoveled 12 inches of snow from the school sidewalk with a teaspoon one day and polished the restroom porcelin with a cotton swab. This was group treatment. My buddies were very helpful in noting spots that I missed. I can’t remember what I did to receive the therapy but it worked.
Frank,
Your understanding of disorders like ADD, OCD, ODD and CD are uninformed. I know something about this subject as my 14 year-old son was diagnosed with ADD some years ago.
ADD, for instance, is a disorder of the brain. And no amount of parenting or misplaced “discipline” is going to change how the brain of a child functions.
I should know. At my son’s first signs of trouble, I tried the old school way of handling it with the “rod and staff” approach. It didn’t work.
It didn’t work because my son wasn’t “choosing” for his brain to malfunction. It was out of his control. And my punishing him for something he couldn’t control was not only unfair to him, but hopelessly counterproductive.
In the case of ADD, the symptoms can be anywhere from mild to severe. My son’s symptoms were on the more severe side. He became obstinate, socially withdrawn and his grades were plummeting. This normally well-mannered boy who did well in school and was well-liked by his classmates and teachers was becoming a problem child and an outcast. It was killing my wife and I to see him in such distress without any way to fix the problem.
Kids who exhibit ODD and other conduct disorders, by the way, often have undiagnosed cases of ADD/ADHD as their root cause. They are often interrelated.
Thankfully, a well-trained teacher recognized his signs and was able to help my wife and I understand he needed the treatment of a medical professional–not a kick in the pants. She referred us to a local MD who specialized in working with kids with his kind of disorder.
After a through evaluation and diagnosis of ADD, a treatment regiment was ordered and, after some trial and error, the proper course of medication was settled on. Additionally, we had to learn new ways of parenting him and helping him develop new study, classroom and fitness activities to help him better cope with the disorder.
Almost immediately, his behavior dramatically improved. His grades picked back up. And, most importantly, he was becoming his old, happy self again. Today, he’s a great student, a solid athlete and outdoorsman, and he’s excelling in Scouts. Oh, and he’s a pretty good shot, too. He’s more than I deserve.
I have no argument with the idea that kids today need better parenting and our culture is producing entire generations of unfit parents. And I strongly agree that, as parents, our first reaction to our child’s bad behavior ought NOT to be to medicate him or her. These are potent drugs that often come with serious side effects. A great deal of care should be given to the decision and it should only be done under the careful supervision of a Medical Doctor who specializes in treating these kinds of disorders.
But we do a great disservice to millions of parents with kids with these kinds of brain disorders by simply saying, “they need to be better parents.” The perpetuation of ignorance and stereotypes serves no purpose whatsoever.
And while we’re on the subject of stereotypes, you may be surprised to learn
Thankfully, medical science has carefully categorized and labeled these disorders and developed medical treatments to help kids deal with them. And my son is living proof that there comes an appropriate time to enlist the help of a medical professional and introduce a pharmaceutical, as well as behavioral, treatment.
For a scientific discussion of ADD/ADHD, contact the National Resource Center on ADHD at http://www.help4adhd.org/ or Children and Adults with Attention Deficit or Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) at http://www.chadd.org