"Murphy's Laws of Combat" by Marion F. Sturkey
19 February 2007
I recently had the great pleasure to spend a couple of days at MCRD Parris Island, South Carolina (in a future article I will expound on this experience and speak highly of the entirely Christian value system that was evident all over the island). While there, of course, my family and I visited the Marine Corps Museum as well as the Post Exchange and the book store at the Visitor's Center. While thumbing through a few of the books available I found "Murphy's Laws of Combat" written by Marion F. Sturkey. The first few pages I scanned were hilarious, but some of what I read was absolutely true - and therefore not all of it was funny. Mr. Sturkey is a former Marine Corps helicopter pilot and "Murphy's Laws of Combat" is his fifth book. After scanning a few more pages I had to purchase a copy - and actually got one for my son as well. I just finished reading it and can highly recommend it. Let me give you some insight into the contents...
First thing that is highly important to note: the big "POLITICALLY IMPOSSIBLE" in yellow letters on a red background on the cover. Bleeding heart pansy sensitive folks who get offended when anyone uses a masculine pronoun to encompass all humans should beware. Mr. Sturkey's stated outlook is that female warriors do exist and they won't be offended in any way by the use of a masculine pronoun to refer to them as well. If you are seeking a book about combat that is worded in a politically correct fashion, this ain't it - and that's amazingly refreshing.
Mr. Sturkey breaks his book down into three main parts with multiple sections per part:
Part One - Murphy's Laws for Civilians
Part Two - Murphy's Laws of Combat
Part Three - Heritage of the American Warrior
With tongue-in-cheek, laws of combat are provided for the infantry, for aviation, and special laws provided for those who travel via helicopter. There are pearls of wisdom offered for warriors who drink beer, edited oaths of enlistment for every branch of the armed forces, an introduction to redneck warriors (much borrowed from Jeff Foxworthy of "you might be a redneck if..." fame), and Laws of Lust, Sex & Seduction for Warriors.
Mr. Sturkey is kind enough to include, in Part Two, an analysis of what he refers to as "Politically Correct Disease as well as a guide to politicians and government. Much humor can be found in the sections about computer laws for warriors, and the Chinese Zodiac for warriors. Pay close attention to the military definitions for Infantry as well as the military definitions for Aviation. For any young man out there who thinks he's interested in dating a warrior's daughter, read, memorize and abide by Murphy's Rules for Dating a Warrior's Daughter (reproduced below because they're so funny).
Part Three is a must read for all servicemen and veterans. There are bits of history, lots of knowledge and wisdom, and information about Code of Conduct and General Orders for each branch of service. There a numerous pages devoted to quotes from famous warriors and the book ends with The Warrior's Rules for Life.
As I said above, I briefly glanced through this book at the Parris Island Visitor's Center and decided to purchase two. Having completely read my copy cover to cover I've gone into my son's and highlighted the stuff he needs to pay attention to. There are some valuable bits of wisdom and advice available to the new warrior - or any warrior who wants to continue to grow older. Much philosophy about combat and war in general can be found if you read between the lines of the quotes and the "rules".
Murphy's Rules for Dating a Warrior's Daughter
You can find different variations of all of the following in various places on the Internet. I enjoyed Mr. Sturkey's version and reproduce it below verbatim from pages 129 - 131 of the book in question. To have these for future reference, I encourage you to purchase his book, Xerox those pages, and distribute them to all the young men who wish to date your daughter(s). They should be required to memorize the rules and quote them back while standing at attention at the bottom of the steps to your front porch.
1: If your vehicle stops in my driveway and you honkn the horn, I shall assume you are announcing your desire to deliver a gift. You definitiely will not be picking anything up.
2: Exit your vehicle and speak the password. Turn, face your vehicle, and place both hands on the top. After I have searched you, interrogated you, and checked a minimum of two forms of photo-identification, I may allow you to stand at ease by the steps to my front porch.
3: However, if I tell you to stand by your car, stay there. You may stand at ease, but do not wander off. My attack dogs are always on the lookout for fresh meat.
4: If you wait and more than an hour passes, do not shuffle your feet or fidget. My daugher likely is putting on her makeup, a process which may take several more hours. If you wish to pass the time by doing something useful, raise your hand, speak, and request permission to wash my truck.
5: Do not be tempted to try to get to know me by mindlessly jabbering about sports, politics, cars, or similar childish foolishness. Unless I tell you to speak, keep your mouth shut.
6: Be very afraid. In my presence, keep your hands out of your pockets. If you jingle your loose coins or rattle your car keys, I may mistake it for the sound of bad guys in the wire when my PTSD starts acting up.
7: Never lie to me. During any random interrogation to which I may subject you, never lie. When it comes to my little girl, I am your terminal nightmare, the all-knowing and merciless Deity of your universe. You will have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I have (1) no scruples, (2) a closet full of automatic weapons, (3) a footlocker full of ammo, (4) a back-hoe, and (5) forty-six wooded acres behind the house. Do not tempt me.
8: I trust that you are a popular young fellow with many opportunities to socialize with other girls. However, once you have dated my daughter, you will date no other girl until my daughter is absolutely finished with you.
9: When and if my daughter is finally ready, the two of you are free to go. However, first I will ask you what time you will deliver my daughter back to my home. The only words you are authorized to speak are, "Whenever you say, Sir!"
10: You must never take my daughter to:
- Places where there are no nuns or policemen within sight.
- Places where there is darkness.
- Places where there are beds, sofas, recliners, and such.
- Places where there is music or dancing.
- Places where there is happiness or holding hands.
- Places where the temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, a tank top, a bathing suit, or anything other than insulated coveralls and a hooded sweater.
11: If my daughter agrees, you may take her to:
- Nursing homes, churches, government offices and hospitals.
- Military parades and patriotic functions (during the daytime).
- Outdoor athletic or auto racing events (during the daytime).
- Movies (during the daytime) if there are not romantic themes, and if you and my daughter do not sit in adjacent seats. Note: movies which feature chain saws, auto racing, wrestling, or hand-to-hand combat are preferred.
12: You may look at my daughter if she consents and if you do not look at anything below her neck.
13: You may never touch my daughter in any manner or under any circumstances. If I ever discover your hands on my daughter, I will remove them. It will be painful.
14: If you ever make my daughter cry, I will make you cry a lot more before I kill you.
15: In this enlightened age, I trust you know that sexual conduct without using "protection" can kill you. Make no mistake. If you even daydream about sexual conduct with my daughter, I am the protection, and I will kill you.
16: While you are away from my home with my little girl, the voices in my head always tell me to clean and reload my weapons. While I wait for you to return, I do what the voices tell me to do. Think about it.
17: When you return to my driveway with my little girl, keep both hands (1) in sight and (2) on the wheel. Do not even consider exiting your vehicle. Shout in a loud voice that you have brought my daughter back home. Once she has safely entered my front door, drive away immediately. The camouflaged face you may see int he window is mine.
As you can see from these rules, Mr. Sturkey has an extremely well developed sense of humor. "Murphy's Laws of Combat" is an excellent read that is entertaining and educational for all of today's contemporary warriors. You can purchase his book online at by visiting this link.
BE SAFE!
19 February 2007
I recently had the great pleasure to spend a couple of days at MCRD Parris Island, South Carolina (in a future article I will expound on this experience and speak highly of the entirely Christian value system that was evident all over the island). While there, of course, my family and I visited the Marine Corps Museum as well as the Post Exchange and the book store at the Visitor's Center. While thumbing through a few of the books available I found "Murphy's Laws of Combat" written by Marion F. Sturkey. The first few pages I scanned were hilarious, but some of what I read was absolutely true - and therefore not all of it was funny. Mr. Sturkey is a former Marine Corps helicopter pilot and "Murphy's Laws of Combat" is his fifth book. After scanning a few more pages I had to purchase a copy - and actually got one for my son as well. I just finished reading it and can highly recommend it. Let me give you some insight into the contents...
First thing that is highly important to note: the big "POLITICALLY IMPOSSIBLE" in yellow letters on a red background on the cover. Bleeding heart pansy sensitive folks who get offended when anyone uses a masculine pronoun to encompass all humans should beware. Mr. Sturkey's stated outlook is that female warriors do exist and they won't be offended in any way by the use of a masculine pronoun to refer to them as well. If you are seeking a book about combat that is worded in a politically correct fashion, this ain't it - and that's amazingly refreshing.
Mr. Sturkey breaks his book down into three main parts with multiple sections per part:
Part One - Murphy's Laws for Civilians
Part Two - Murphy's Laws of Combat
Part Three - Heritage of the American Warrior
With tongue-in-cheek, laws of combat are provided for the infantry, for aviation, and special laws provided for those who travel via helicopter. There are pearls of wisdom offered for warriors who drink beer, edited oaths of enlistment for every branch of the armed forces, an introduction to redneck warriors (much borrowed from Jeff Foxworthy of "you might be a redneck if..." fame), and Laws of Lust, Sex & Seduction for Warriors.
Mr. Sturkey is kind enough to include, in Part Two, an analysis of what he refers to as "Politically Correct Disease as well as a guide to politicians and government. Much humor can be found in the sections about computer laws for warriors, and the Chinese Zodiac for warriors. Pay close attention to the military definitions for Infantry as well as the military definitions for Aviation. For any young man out there who thinks he's interested in dating a warrior's daughter, read, memorize and abide by Murphy's Rules for Dating a Warrior's Daughter (reproduced below because they're so funny).
Part Three is a must read for all servicemen and veterans. There are bits of history, lots of knowledge and wisdom, and information about Code of Conduct and General Orders for each branch of service. There a numerous pages devoted to quotes from famous warriors and the book ends with The Warrior's Rules for Life.
As I said above, I briefly glanced through this book at the Parris Island Visitor's Center and decided to purchase two. Having completely read my copy cover to cover I've gone into my son's and highlighted the stuff he needs to pay attention to. There are some valuable bits of wisdom and advice available to the new warrior - or any warrior who wants to continue to grow older. Much philosophy about combat and war in general can be found if you read between the lines of the quotes and the "rules".
Murphy's Rules for Dating a Warrior's Daughter
You can find different variations of all of the following in various places on the Internet. I enjoyed Mr. Sturkey's version and reproduce it below verbatim from pages 129 - 131 of the book in question. To have these for future reference, I encourage you to purchase his book, Xerox those pages, and distribute them to all the young men who wish to date your daughter(s). They should be required to memorize the rules and quote them back while standing at attention at the bottom of the steps to your front porch.
1: If your vehicle stops in my driveway and you honkn the horn, I shall assume you are announcing your desire to deliver a gift. You definitiely will not be picking anything up.
2: Exit your vehicle and speak the password. Turn, face your vehicle, and place both hands on the top. After I have searched you, interrogated you, and checked a minimum of two forms of photo-identification, I may allow you to stand at ease by the steps to my front porch.
3: However, if I tell you to stand by your car, stay there. You may stand at ease, but do not wander off. My attack dogs are always on the lookout for fresh meat.
4: If you wait and more than an hour passes, do not shuffle your feet or fidget. My daugher likely is putting on her makeup, a process which may take several more hours. If you wish to pass the time by doing something useful, raise your hand, speak, and request permission to wash my truck.
5: Do not be tempted to try to get to know me by mindlessly jabbering about sports, politics, cars, or similar childish foolishness. Unless I tell you to speak, keep your mouth shut.
6: Be very afraid. In my presence, keep your hands out of your pockets. If you jingle your loose coins or rattle your car keys, I may mistake it for the sound of bad guys in the wire when my PTSD starts acting up.
7: Never lie to me. During any random interrogation to which I may subject you, never lie. When it comes to my little girl, I am your terminal nightmare, the all-knowing and merciless Deity of your universe. You will have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I have (1) no scruples, (2) a closet full of automatic weapons, (3) a footlocker full of ammo, (4) a back-hoe, and (5) forty-six wooded acres behind the house. Do not tempt me.
8: I trust that you are a popular young fellow with many opportunities to socialize with other girls. However, once you have dated my daughter, you will date no other girl until my daughter is absolutely finished with you.
9: When and if my daughter is finally ready, the two of you are free to go. However, first I will ask you what time you will deliver my daughter back to my home. The only words you are authorized to speak are, "Whenever you say, Sir!"
10: You must never take my daughter to:
- Places where there are no nuns or policemen within sight.
- Places where there is darkness.
- Places where there are beds, sofas, recliners, and such.
- Places where there is music or dancing.
- Places where there is happiness or holding hands.
- Places where the temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, a tank top, a bathing suit, or anything other than insulated coveralls and a hooded sweater.
11: If my daughter agrees, you may take her to:
- Nursing homes, churches, government offices and hospitals.
- Military parades and patriotic functions (during the daytime).
- Outdoor athletic or auto racing events (during the daytime).
- Movies (during the daytime) if there are not romantic themes, and if you and my daughter do not sit in adjacent seats. Note: movies which feature chain saws, auto racing, wrestling, or hand-to-hand combat are preferred.
12: You may look at my daughter if she consents and if you do not look at anything below her neck.
13: You may never touch my daughter in any manner or under any circumstances. If I ever discover your hands on my daughter, I will remove them. It will be painful.
14: If you ever make my daughter cry, I will make you cry a lot more before I kill you.
15: In this enlightened age, I trust you know that sexual conduct without using "protection" can kill you. Make no mistake. If you even daydream about sexual conduct with my daughter, I am the protection, and I will kill you.
16: While you are away from my home with my little girl, the voices in my head always tell me to clean and reload my weapons. While I wait for you to return, I do what the voices tell me to do. Think about it.
17: When you return to my driveway with my little girl, keep both hands (1) in sight and (2) on the wheel. Do not even consider exiting your vehicle. Shout in a loud voice that you have brought my daughter back home. Once she has safely entered my front door, drive away immediately. The camouflaged face you may see int he window is mine.
As you can see from these rules, Mr. Sturkey has an extremely well developed sense of humor. "Murphy's Laws of Combat" is an excellent read that is entertaining and educational for all of today's contemporary warriors. You can purchase his book online at by visiting this link.
BE SAFE!
